#303
If I’m learning one thing in my 48 years of life and living in the great State of Indiana. It’s that God not only has the power to change the weather from blue skies to gray in a split second but he can do the same thing to a person’s salvation. He can change a person’s life and the way they live , believe , trust , think , love and react to certain situations and behave for the rest of their life because of an experience that was pressed upon them in just one moment in time in a person’s life that changed where they went from Saul to Paul in a blink of an eye. Where their skies went from gray to blue and the weather was changed . The sun came out and salvation was found! They seen the light ! The lost was found! That was me almost 7 years ago. The lost. Shortly after losing my Grandmother . The woman who was the only one who knew when I had something on my mind. Maybe it was the look on my face. Is that a Grandma thing? The one who could get me to pray for people when prayer was the last thing on my mind. I always hated praying as a child. It just never seemed like God was listening. I wanted my prayers answered now! I was a very impatient little girl. So impatient that my relatives in Chicago laugh to this day because they remember the tantrums I use to throw when we would visit and how they thought I was a possessed child. To this day I remember throwing a fit because I wanted a certain kind of pizza up in Chicago “Connie’s Pizza” to be exact but they were closed. That I was screaming to my Dad ..that I wanted Connie’s!! I remember him at the table with my Great Aunts and Uncles and him saying, “What do you want me to do ? They’re closed. Get it in your head. “and me throwing myself on the couch in the other room saying ” but I want Connie’s!!! ” I never got smacked! Though I should have but I do remember my Great Aunt Jenny Corral saying from the kitchen ,” What’s wrong with her ? I think she’s possessed!” and them all laughing and me screaming , “I’m not possessed!” and me trying to catch my breath, trying to gain some form of dignity. I couldn’t even catch my breath because I sobbing knowing clearly something was not right with me. But I think I had forgotten what it was that I was even throwing a fit about. Was it the pizza I wanted so badly ? or was I just ticked off that they were laughing at me? I’ll never know because I was so young I can’t remember. Now that I’m a Mother. I have my own children that get like that at times. I think they’re possessed when they actually act like that! I know they’re just plain tired and exhausted or they just want they’re own way and they don’t care how they get it. Like Veruca Salt in the movie Willy Wonka. They want it now Daddy and if they don’t get the things that they ask for, they’re going to scream! Or it’s the Devil going through my children trying to get to me and trying to get me to snap. Isn’t that how it is for us all down here ? We’re all being tested in one way or another? We’re either the possessed Veruca’s and we are so spoiled that we want it now that we either need a good smack because we’re either being used by the enemy and we’re acting like him or we’re just so exhausted and tired that we need to just go to sleep or we’re the Dad that has got to shut the kid out because if he don’t he may just snap. So he has to be very aware that his child is just tired and needs a nap or is simply being used by the devil to get to him . Pray for your child but for gosh sakes . Don’t continue to spoil your child like the Devil wants or your gonna go down the spoiled egg shoot with your child like the Devil wants and snap and that’s not good for either of you. Because we are human. What Dad doesn’t want to give your child everything when they ask . I know if God could give us each what we want when we want it. He would. It sure would save us all a lot of grief and struggles. What God would want to see his people struggle? Being human means to be sinful and being sinful means we each must suffer and struggle . God knows this and like my Dad . He doesn’t smack us for it when we act up and get out of line. But he does ignore us when we act possessed and throw our little fits and tantrum and behave like little demons . Not obeying his Commandments or even trying to ask for help in the one who can guide us through the obstaclesthat we face. Let’s face it. We can’t obey all Ten Commandments all by ourselves. We will fail miserably. What a slap in the face to have a Savior that hung and died for our sins and our salvation yet we choose to live like the possessed child throwing a fit when we can have all the free pizza we want . This week I found myself sitting across my Psychiatrist. The name Psychiatrist I once called “Shrink” use to drive my Brother mad because that’s his field of Occupation. I now must openly apologize as I never quite respected the title . Probably because when I made fun of the title in my earlier years I never seen myself at age 48 sitting across from one and never really understood the significance and value of one. Until I went through a 12 week TBI survivor class this summer that I learned that a Psychiatrist should be the one to manage anyone with a traumatic head injury and their medication . Medications will not react the same with patients that suffer with head traumas as they do with patients with non head traumas. I thought Psychiatrists were for crazy people. So when anyone brought it up to me. I turned into a possessed person. Psychiatrists have a very bad stigma. One that needs to be addressed and put out of mind. It’s a shame and shame is of the devil . My Psychiatrist is now in charge of what medications I should be taking and what I should not be and he works with my team . My home physician and my Neurologist. You would not believe the list of medications I gave him that was going into my system. It was not giving me a healthier life , liver or helping my kidneys. Looking across from him 2 days ago as we both know I struggle from major anxiety . When did this start I was asked? My reply ,” In the second grade , we once got taken out in the hallway individually and checked fir lice. Though I never had it.. somewhere since that day when I couldn’t drink because I wasn’t 21 , as I was only a second grader it started and it got worse and is even worse on nights like tonight as I have to be at my 16 year old Daughter’s soccer banquet and I have to be there because my Husband can’t be and because I can’t let her down . I can’t miss it. So … ya. From then till now. ” My blood pressure was through the roof. Which he could obviously see. I was a complete mess . I was crying. I was in shreds and I was gonna force my 8 year old to go with me to the banquet because drinking isn’t my crutch like it once was. My medications I’m on arn’t helping me. I told him . I needed help and I was sorry I thought all Psychiatrists were Shrinks. He looked at all my medications and he made some changes. We discussed them . I like to be educated on what is going in my body and I love when things are being crossed off the list. I know that God gave man a brain and we should do everything we can to get as much knowledge as we can and use the knowledge of others . People are a blessing to me . I will learn to find a blessing from this. I have learned so much with each trial I face . The fact is. I don’t know where this anxiety came from and why it hits me like it does. I was a cheerleader in High School for crying out loud I told the Psychiatrist. I’m a born people person ! I was the life of the party ! Take away my job , my drink and my hobby . Add 60 -70 ibs give or take.. and now I can’t get out of my car ! What’s with that? He kind of chuckled. I see no humor in this? Yet I found some comfort in his chuckle believe it or not. Knowing I found a friend in my Psychiatrist and in his chuckle. . Knowing he took no offense that I once thought him to be a shrink. That were gonna get through this . Of course he knows I have other challenges but I’m Christian I’m always going to have challenges and Indiana is always going to have crazy weather. I’ve come to expect it. Your not going to see me moving . Your not going to see me change from Paul to Saul. God changed me for a reason. He has the power to change all people just like he changed Saul to Paul. Even Paul had a thorn in the side. Maybe anxiety will always be mine. Maybe musculoskeletal issues will be? Maybe I will live my life on medications my whole life to make my life better or maybe I won’t but only God knows . But one thing I do know to be sure is that God has the power to change each and every person in this life if you want him too and each moment in your life is like Indiana weather and if your not living your life to the fullest and relying on your Savior Jesus Christ and the Word of God to help you get through moments of this life . You are letting the Devil talk you out of your Eternal moments of your Eternal life and the Devil does not want you to know that.
365 Things The Devil Doesnt Want You To Know 